Wednesday, July 16, 2008

"return to sender--not at this address"

vacant smile and no emotion in my eyes.
a cool voice and a polite offer of coffee.
this is what i have become.

looking forward to getting out of the state if it means that i don't have to think about you.
not looking forward to how i'm getting out.
i want a full tank and my foot on the gas.
i want to go 125 mph and never look back.
i want to run and never have to see this town again.
"go outside and get some fresh air."
oh how i wish that i could.

what would you have me do?
i try and put some distance between us, and you hate me.
i try and make amends, and you accuse me of playing with your emotions.
i don't see a middle ground here.
"peace sign without the index finger."
maybe i was right in telling you to fuck off.
alone and cold on a hot summer's day.
maybe freezing is my internal temperature.
or maybe it's just this cold shoulder i'm giving you.
either way, it works for me.

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